so yes since the summer i have been enthralled, in love, infatuated with northern europe. the netherlands especially. however, im finding more and more things to explore, to be curious about, and to learn from the great white northern lights.
something mythological springs forth in my mind about this area. the north sea is the most tempermental body of water i have ever seen. one day it was gnashing its teeth, threatening to swallow me and everything surrounding. the next it was calm, gentle, and inviting. again, the light as well has a tempest personality. there are months of darkness followed by a switch by the gods to light.
the order and the rules that govern its societies are a stark comparison to the myths. everything is stark here. everything is a juxtaposition. an argument and a just as exacting counter-argument. the weather and the elements are against us, so we fight against it with societal order.
the happiest people in the world (based on life expectency, cost of living, average wealth) live in the netherlands. the saddest people in the world (highest suicide rate in relation to population) live in denmark. what is up with that? as i search i find the most interesting discrepancies that in turn fuels my search even further.
for instance, iceland is the land of FIRE and ICE. Two of the most extreme elements on the planet! There is an extremely strange psychological disorder named after a Swedish city in which the victim of a crime falls in love with the person who commits it. Why is this land full of eccentricity and discrepancy?

why do i want to know so badly? because i want this romanticized notion of a place to be TRUE. i want to experience this weirdness! ever since my grandmother first mentioned there are places on this earth that have total darkness for part of the year, i have wanted to see it. when my dad told me about the beautiful lights that sometimes reach as far south as rochester, new york, i've yearned to behold them myself. i like to be surrounded by new things and new people. i like to think that i can fit in anywhere. especially somewhere i want to fit in.

i have a theory that missing someone is often times much better than actually being with that person. that the initial shock of being with them again after a certain length of time is awkward and gets in the way of any meaningful exchange that can happen (or that is expected to happen). maybe by romanticizing this idea so much i may just set myself up for major disappointment if i do move there.

which i am trying to work on from many different angles. TU Delft, exchange programs (although one of them may be in la villette...), and general study abroad opportunities. i want to be educated in northern europe. i have to do this to be myself.